Look Alike or hmmm ... ??? :)

"Sir .. Aapka Naam Global Terrorist List mein hai" - StanC

MBA over :(
Room - 321, Hostel -3, NITIE campus.
God Bless that place as it has been converted into a girls hostel :)

I joined the ITC, Bhopal branch on 19th June. 15 days of Sonar Bangla's hospitality was still in mind and my bag. Then a pick up from airport, awesome guest house, cook, beer bottles,etc.

I knew we(me & fellow AUT from IIM-C) were getting ready to be butchered :)

We reported to the branch on 20th and then it was no looking back.
Selling sutta on cycle, accompanying salesman & supervisors was the task given for the first 10 days. Vijaya Gupta's monopoly market curve & T Prasad's Mandi (Sales event in NITIE) used to flash thru during those rides. Thank God the company diversified into foods & personal care. Otherwise that cycle ride could have been longer :) ....

One of those 10 days with the ciggi Salesman:
I reached WD quite early to understand all the distributor processes. Meanwhile, I was trying to cram all the PTRs 5 flake ka 81, 5 bristol ka 87 se .. 5 insignia 609.

I had opened an salary account with StanC. 1st salary was credited a day before.
Everybody receives it. Except me. My card was also blocked and messages to contact the branch immediately was SMSed 4 times the day before. I had tried everything in the local branch. But again was an aweful experience with "StanC". No reasons were told for the issue.

Irfan(Ciggi Salesman): " Saheeeb .. Thoda deeer mein chalte hai .. bills katva raha hun"
Me: : " Aaram se karo ... mein aata hun."

So I decides to call up StanC, Kolkatta where the account was opened. A lady picks up the phone.

After all the useless verification details:
Lady: " Sir .. mein aapki kya sewa kar sakti hun"
I told her my card, account etc is not activated.

After a minute .. she comes up with this:
Lady - " Sir ... aapka surname and firstname.. anuj bansal .. ek global terrorist se match ho gaya hai. aapki photo se toh nahi lagta .. aap kafi young ho .. ITC join kiya hai .. aap kaise ho sakte ho??"


Me - " Ofcourse am not !!!! .. u could have given some other excuse for your bank's mistake"

Lady - " sir .. aapke passport par recent muscat ka stamp bhi hai .. hamare security division ne red alert karke apka account block karvaya hai " ... bla bla.

Me - " This is limit ... get your manager on the line"

Lady - " Its not possible ... nahi kar sakte"

Me - " where is my 1st salary ?"

Lady - " Sir .. Suspense Account! .. Jab tak apna identity verify nahi hota hai vahi rahegi"

Me - " WTF .. " .

I am standing there amused and confused.

Irfan(Ciggi Salesman) : " Saheb .. kya ho gaya .. pareshan lag rahe hai ?? "
Me : " Bank vale bol rahe hai mein ek terrorist hun "
Irfan (with smile) : " Saheb .. humme toh bank, school, govt sab yehi kehte hai "
Me (after a pause): " Hmmmm .... bills ho gaye? .. chalte hai"

Then a day later, rang up people left & right. I came to know through StanC Corp Banking, that it was there in the list of Al-Qaeda terrorists, issued by US.

Fellow AUTs call me a high profile StanC client .. i call StanC an aao-ji-aao bank :)

Harbhajan's Slap

Media ka Masala: They are really good at annoying opponents but when they are opponents to each other it gets uglier. Yup .. Bhajji and Sresanth of course. Match got over, Bhajji's team was beaten again. While shaking hands with Bhajji, Sreesanth said "Hard Luck". His luck got harder...Bhajji slapped the young man. Sree broke down. Down with tears, everyone from his team consoled Sreesanth right in the middle of the ground. Zinta madam came all the way to see if her investement is still safe. 7 day food supply for the news channels.

Hours are being spent on the analysis of Bhajji's behavior across channels and columns.

India is such a prosperous and developed nation that the media can very easily devote time to these bloody staged incidents ( Director: Lalit Modi, Purpose: Publicity for IPL ).

I am proud of the Indian Media. One suggestion to the Sardesais & Pranabs of this country, " I am bored of Bhajji's mom giving comments on all the issues, please bring the daddy on".

Its the mandavli air .. !!! :)

Despite being a delhite, Wont b right if i dont start with something on mumbai .. bahut kuch diya hai :)

Fundoo janta, money, bollywood, theatre, marine drive, vada pav, NITIE, night life, cricket, local trains, sparkling airports .. mumbai mein sab kuch hai .. but the best part is the mandavli air (bargain, negotiation) around each and everything in this city !!!

Police hafte ke liye bargain karti hai, students exam paper ke hints ke liye,

cows raaste se hatne ke liye karti hai, CM aapni gaadi ke liye ..

yeh sab toh har jagah dekha but sabse bada example mila last tuesday ..

1st April, 2008: I was travelling to ITC's cuff parade office to collect my stipend and managed to misplace my cell. After searching at all the possible places I thought its gone!! and the feeling of "lost it" was all around. Nobody picked up for 3 hours. But it was still ringing and with it the hope. It was a Rs. 999 vala Reliance LG phone but still wanted it back badly.

" Arre paachis number bus mein reh gaya hoga" says atul, venky (fellow interns).

Me & Venky went to the backbay bus depot (last stop), searched all Bus No. 25. But kuch nahi mila ...

We came back to the office and i tried calling after some time. A guy picks it up. My eyes opened up in joy but only for few seconds.

I asked all the obvious questions .. where did u find it ?, where are you ?, when can i collect it ?

Got all the answers and the one liner "Kitna dega woh bol nahi toh beech dunga" .. [ the aao-ji-aao moment ]

Me: Aap jitna bolo .. utna mil jayega.

-- After lot of bakar --

He: Panchso (500).

Me: 500 !!!!! .. Ok dekh lenge .. milte hai, fir decide karte hai.

He: Nahi abhi "mandavli" kar lo .. baad mein chik chik nahi chahiye ...

Me: (Shocked, Surprised) .. Jayda value nahi hai uss phone ka. upar se reliance ka hai, block karva dunga toh kuch nahi milega.

He: Pata hai tabhi toh phone kiya hai.

Me: Toh fir bolo .. 200 rs mein de do.

He: 500 mein .. leneka hai toh bolo.

Me: Ok .. milte hai.

He: Aaj nahi .. abhi worli mein hun .. kal.

Me: Ok.

--------

After 10 mins, i call him again.

---------

Me: I want it today .. am in World Trade center, Cuff Parade.

He: Am in backbay bus depot now .. ( Worli is atleast 40 mins away frm this place :O )

Me: Ok .. yaha aa jao.

He: No, you will come here woh bhi aakele.

Me: Okie. ( Little wrried as backbay depot is a little shaddy area)

He: depot ke bahar se call karna and i will check if you are alone. (Purra Bollywood style)

Me : Ok.

---------

Me, venky, Atul and apurva started walking towards the depot.

Atul, mumbai vala .. suggested to contact police and take them along for cover to avoid further damage :P

Apurva, patna vala .. suggested not to contact police :)

Venky, indore vala .. was analysing all this without ne suggestion.

finally we decided to go ahead all alone and stood in differnt places but still maintained the eye contact (pura filmy tha !!).

We waited nd waited nd waited ...

I called him up .. and he comes out along with a huge fat uncle. Both dressed in blue uniform.

They located me and were coming in my direction .. eye signal to all the 3 mates to start.

Men_in_blue: panchsoo ruppee ... !! (in chorus)

me: yes .. 1 sec .. (pulls out two 100 ruppee notes)

Men_in_blue: panchsoo bole thee ...

----All the 3 reached by then.----

me: dosoo hee hai mere pass .. lelo ...

Men_in_blue: (paused for 3-4 secs) ok thik hai .. yeh lo.

me: thanks ..

they left thode happy, thode surprised. I was happy to get back the lifetime-incoming scheme for 200 bucks.the journey back to college ended in a happy realization. Its not the I-Banks, Consults, FMCGs or the transactions on the seashore which makes it the financial capital of India. Its the mandavli air .. !!! :)

cout<<"Hello World !!..This is my first blog";

Mission Statement:
"Blogs Blogs everywhere .. Not a blog like this" (Page 9, Hindustan Times, 1st April 2020).

All these dayz, I was wondering why do skool kids, janta in colleges, offices actually blog.

1) Iz It kewl 2 hv a blog in the cy-baba world.

2) can earn u a lot of money in long term.

3) creating a platform and sharing useful information.

4) urge of the introvert but otherwise interesting ppl to share their life,

5) lot of vela time & fundoo firewalls available across colleges/offices,

6) Peer Pressure ["arre tera blog nahi hai .. i cant imagine !!!"]

7) Improve ur writing skills.

8) Just like that.

I guess, It is mostly one of the above 8 points or their intersections which lead people to start a blog. Am yet to figure out my intersection but will surely explre as i go forward.